You may not agree with this, but I think SHOWING UP for prayer is more important than reverence.
Let me tell you a story…
When my kids were little, we started family prayer time each night. It was a short, five minutes of prayer during their bedtime routine. We prayed an Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, petitions, and a litany of saints.
We did that for many, many years.
As my kids got older, I would hear about other families saying a daily rosary. About priests and saints encouraging the rosary. But I always had an excuse (and sometimes another baby!) for why we couldn't add the rosary to our family prayer time.
SIDE NOTE: I'm embarrassed to say, it wasn't just the family rosary - I also wasn't regularly praying the rosary myself. I had excuses for that, too - when did I have time?! There was always a baby/toddler or an interruption or something more pressing to do. I conveniently “forgot” that the rosary can be prayed in as little as 15 minutes. 😐
Finally, a couple years after I opened my rosary making business, the guilt really caught up with me. I felt God calling me out. How could I be promoting the rosary through my business, but not actually praying it consistently?
I decided we just had to start. It wouldn't be perfect. It was definitely messy. At this time my oldest was around 11 years old, my other kids were 9, 8, and 5 years old plus I was about to have a new baby.
We started off with just one decade of the rosary, but quickly switched over to the full five decades. Now 10 years later, we still have the habit of praying the rosary together (during Lent we switch to the Seven Sorrows rosary/ Stations of the Cross and during Advent it's the St. Andrew novena).
This family rosary time is often chaotic and at times not very reverent. We now have another child, so with 8 adults & children it's easy to have interruptions, distractions, laughter, or bickering.
Do I like the messiness? NO.
Do I encourage more peace, reverence, and focus? YES.
But do I quit? NO.
We are still showing up.
I think showing up for prayer is more important than reverence.
Day after day, everyone in my household knows that between 8-8:30 pm we'll be starting our prayers. Super reverent or not, we're there.
Showing up can be the first step - especially with kids - and reverence can (and should!) follow.
Some practical notes on how it works for our family:
- My hubby is on board, but I was the one who received the call. Which means that he is supportive, but I'm “in charge” of prayer time.
- My kids are now 21, 19, 18, 14, 9, and 5 years old.
- The 5 year old very minimally participates - she's allowed to play quietly during prayers.
- The young adults are always invited to pray with us, but sometimes don't. Usually because their schedule doesn't allow (like they just got home from work and haven't eaten dinner yet or they have to go to bed super early). I don't question their reasoning, they're old enough to keep it between them and God.
- We rarely adjust to someone's schedule. It's just too many people with different needs and plans. Whoever is home when we start is invited (by me because I'm in charge) to pray. If I'm not home (which is rare), I try to remind them to pray. Sometimes they do and sometimes they forget. We're not perfect, but still trying to show up.
Final note: It's become a habit, because I strategically choose our prayer time to fit in with our existing routine.
It's after I finish cleaning up the dinner dishes, and before the younger kids get ready for bed. In the beginning, it wasn't scheduled at a specific time, we just prayed when I finished the dishes. Now it works better to have a set time because it helps the older kids plan around it (since they can have very different schedules).
